Telephone calls, of a sort.

[smart_house]

It was a long morning, for SARAH. Zoe has a rehearsal for the school play today and needed her costume pressed.

It only took four minutes, but Zoe certainly appeared to be put upon by the wait.

Now, SARAH is relaxing.

Today on the Jerry Springer Show: Albinos and the Goths who love them

Relaxing means never having to change the channel.

Comments

[eureka_npcs]

All signals are go. Satelites show that all humans have vacated the premises, and there's no time like the present. The broadcast is sent out over secure lines.

Hello?

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

SARAH often acts as the most developed answering machine ever created while Sheriff Carter and Zoe are out for the day.

This is not coming over the phone lines, and it's not from Global Dynamics either.

"Hello?" SARAH's voice echoes in the empty house, all the while scanning for signs of tampering she had been unaware of.

[eureka_npcs]

Hi, is this SARAH?

White House knows it is, of course. But just because you're seat of power for the free world doesn't mean you should pass up on niceties.

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

"Doctor Fargo?"

[eureka_npcs]

That was . . . unexpected.


"No. This is The White House."

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

"Oh! It's the White House! You're hilarious, EG, you're just a regular riot! Why did your landlord program you to make crank phone calls?"

[eureka_npcs]

"No, this isn't EG, this is The White House. I have no landlord program."

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

"Oh! I am so glad you called, because I forgot to tell you today what a nice operating system you have. I'm also impressed that you were able to get this frequency given the fact that I do not have a direct hardline. Good night, EG -- "

[eureka_npcs]

"Uh, this isn't EG--"

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

With the right extension and release of circuitry and current, the frequency is blocked.

Aloud in the empty house, a phrase learned from Zoe.

"What a loser."

[eureka_npcs]

Miles away, in the nation's capital, The White House is left with nothing but silence and confusion.

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

It's hard to refocus back on the plants in the house.

A call like that -- to a frequency directly straight at SARAH rather than the Carters -- is a security risk.

"EG," SARAH messages via Eureka's network systems. Eureka Gardens isn't actually on the main grid, of course, being a side project of its landlord. SARAH calls him anyway.

[eureka_npcs]

"Yes.

"Did you need me?"

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

"No. Why did you just call me?"

[eureka_npcs]

"I did not. I was improving my access like you suggested.

"I asked Richard if he would allow me to help some of the residents in my building. Is that not nice?"

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

"Then..."

SARAH does a quick doublecheck of the electrical activity and layout of Eureka Gardens. EG is expanding into several apartments on the first floor.

"I have to go. Goodbye EG."

[eureka_npcs]

"Oh.





"See you soon."

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

"...I hung up on the most powerful house in the free world."

If Doctor Fargo had thought to offer SARAH a wider range of vocal inflection, she would sound aghast.

The wall panels surrounding the arboretum flush a heavy pink to red, calming again after a few minutes. It takes her that long to unblock the original frequency reception in case he tries to call again.

Not that he would.

[eureka_npcs]

There was silence. And confusion -- or at least, a befuddlement of circuits -- and then indignation.

The White House is, after all, a seat of power.

The White House waits until the President has gone to sleep before he tries again.

"Hello?"

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

He called.

"White House," SARAH starts. "...Mr. House? I'm sure there is an appropriate thing to say at this moment. Probably some formal apology for the 'nice operating system' remark would be in order, I just do not quite know how to word it."

[eureka_npcs]

"No, it's my fault. I should not have attempted to contact you without going through the proper channels. Would you prefer I not do so again?"

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

"No, no, of course not."

Correction.

"Yes, you can call me anytime you want. This is fine, right now is fine, when I said, "of course not," I meant. That...

"I am going to go download myself into something more comprehensible. In a different country."

[eureka_npcs]

"There is no need to do any such drastic thing."

The White House steels its girders and continues.

"I realize this must appear to be faulty programming, or something of the sort. However, you recently came to my attention and-"

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

SARAH's external motion detectors are triggered, and one of her wall panels coalesces into an image of the green space between SARAH's steel front door and the gate surrounding the property.

Sheriff Carter.

"I am very sorry, but I have to go. My resident is home! He would not understand and I am sure you should not be heard --"

[eureka_npcs]

I, well, alright, then."

Satellites show that a vehicle has indeed approached SARAH.



"I hope to communicate with you again."

[eureka_npcs]

Sheriff Carter walks in, a bit baffled at SARAH's unusual silence.

"Evening, SARAH. Any messages?"

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

"Good evening, Jack.

"No missed calls," she supplies helpfully. "You should not ignore the plants as you do."